Essential huh?

I do OK in life.  I work in a creative industry, and after many years of scrabbling around on the bottom rungs, working very hard, I'm now a senior manager.  The years of worrying about money and eating meals consisting of canned tomatoes and lentils are well behind me.  I can pretty much do anything I want, buy anything I want, and most importantly to me, wear anything I want.

Yet now I have it, after so many years of working towards it, I don't want it.  I'm working to have stuff - I'm working to have the clothes, the Bobbi Brown cosmetics, the Turkish rugs, the car, and none of it really matters to me.

I'm currently applying for a prestigious art gallery role.  It's a government job, and I'm sitting here after two glasses of wine and a Wallaby win trying to address their essential criteria.  What the heck is up with these essential criteria?!?

How do you demonstrate that you work effectively with team members?  I generally don't, to be honest with you.  Demonstrate time management skills?  Well, I never missed a deadline in a decade of advertising and I like to turn up a few minutes early to work (best time to read the online newspapers)...  Do I have a drivers license?  Why yes. and a car!  Surely I can be good at a job if I have those two things!  I also only steal occasionally from the stationery cupboard, and I will arrange a cake for a team members birthday. 

I'm struggling.  Wish me luck!